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The Intruder

Updated: 4 days ago



Photo: pexels / Canva

I lay motionless under the blanket. I was breathing heavily; two people sharing one duvet made the air stifling and dropped the oxygen levels dangerously low. I turned toward Toni.


"Do you think the coast is clear yet?" I whispered as softly as I possibly could. Toni listened closely for a moment, then shook his head.

"Not yet," he whispered back.

"I need to breathe," I said, parting the blanket just enough for a rush of fresh air to hit my lungs. I felt better instantly.


Suddenly, a loud crash echoed from behind the closed door, followed by a low growl. I slipped back under the covers and pressed my body against Toni's. We lay completely still, our hearts syncing into a frantic, rhythmic drumming. From the other room, we could hear heavy footsteps and the sound of things being violently thrown around.


Our rare day off had started out so perfectly. We were both lounging in silk sheets, tangled up in each other, while the open window made the curtains flutter romantically. The first rays of morning sun drew beautiful streaks of light across the floor. From somewhere in the house, the intoxicating aroma of freshly brewed coffee drifted in. I could have easily imagined we were on vacation in some wonderfully idyllic French village. I yawned contentedly and stretched my long limbs like a lazy cat. Toni looked at me lovingly and pressed a long kiss against my temple.


"Should we just stay like this all day? Just enjoy each other and order takeout. I wonder if they’d deliver it straight to the bed," I mused. Toni chuckled at the thought.

"I am not against that idea at all, but let me be the one to grab the food from the door. I don't need any extra people in our bedroom," he laughed. I looked at his wild bedhead and his youthful eyes. Toni had never looked so handsome. I rolled into his arms when suddenly, a sharp slam—sounding exactly like a door being flung open—echoed from the living room. Toni and I froze instantly, staring at each other in sheer terror.


Ominous grunting filtered in from the living room. Like lightning, we ducked beneath the blanket and lay there, paralyzed.


. . .


I felt completely powerless. I was terrified, but at the same time, incredibly annoyed. This was supposed to be my day with Toni! Now, this groaning creature had effectively locked us in our own room. Even though my plan had been to stay in bed all day anyway, I still wanted the freedom to choose it.


Suddenly, a violent vibration shook the living room, sounding exactly like a phone ringing on silent against a hard tabletop. The rattling vibrated all the way through my bones. Whose phone was that?

Heavy footsteps hurried from the other end of the room, and the vibration abruptly cut off. Silence fell again. We heard the creature let out a single grunt, and then the call was apparently over. Immediately, the havoc resumed. Objects clattered and fell. A loud bang rattled the frames on the wall—the front door was slammed shut.


"Okay, now. It's gone," I whispered, lifting the blanket once more. I stared at the closed bedroom door, catching sight of Toni’s head emerging from under the covers out of the corner of my eye.

"Go check it out," I said, nudging him with my shoulder. He gave me a reluctant look but got out of bed anyway. He crept toward the door and pressed his ear against it. The house was dead silent.


Toni cracked the creaking door open and peered into the living room. I sat up, keeping the blanket pulled halfway up my face. Toni slipped out into the living room, and I could hear the floorboards groan as he inspected the trashed apartment. I held my breath.


"The coast is clear!" Toni called out.


I finally let out the breath I had been holding. Getting out of bed, I wrapped myself in my bathrobe and walked into the living room, keeping an eye out for any collateral damage. Toni was standing by the kitchen island. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, peering over his shoulder to see what he was looking at.


"Looks like we get the evening to ourselves after all," Toni smiled.

Resting on the island was a note, clearly scribbled in a massive hurry:


“Sorry about the noise, was in a rush. Going to a friend’s after school. P.S. There’s no food in the fridge – J”


...


About this piece: This text is a dramaturgical exercise in tension-building, subversion of genre expectations, and structural pacing.

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